blah blah blah

7:29AM

So I got the job at the law office. Hooray!! Now I'm worried I will totally fuck up and get fired. I'm still going to go to school and try to achieve my legal assistant certificate. I hope that I can make myself try, I mean really do my best at school. It seems like I just go and half ass do shit. I'm paying to go so I should go and learn and not act like I'm in high school.

9:56AM - wedding picture

1:37PM

i know how you feel, i just don't care.


Who's Your Happy Bunny?
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8:55AM - yawn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can not believe that another year is almost over.  I didn't achieve many goals.  This past year has been a very trying year for me.  I have struggled with school and unfortunately I will not be finished as I planned  I have a job interview at a law office on Tuesday.  It's not a legal assistant position.  It's basically an errand runner job. However I will at least have my foot in the door.  I'm nervous about the interview. Anyway, that's my lovely update. I don't want to get in to all the sadness that I feel and the hardships that I'm going through.  I should be grateful for what I have.

HAVE A VERY MERRY WHATEVER YOU CELEBRATE!!

Current mood: nauseated

10:10AM - It's been so long

I haven't updated in like a month. I didn't realize it had been so long. My computer died, it actually started smoking! So I just got a new computer. It's a Dell with a a 19 inch flat screen. I love it. Anyway, nothing has changed really except I may be moving to Louisiana soon. My husband does construction work and there are a lot of jobs there right now that are paying twice as much as he is making. Plus he' from there and his Grandma has a house that we could live in for free. It would be a great financial opportunity. He really misses the South. I'm sure that it would be hard for me but I could finish out school there. I don't know, we still have to think about alot of stuff. That's basically it. I hope all of you are doing well.

7:49PM - I'm back!!

We got back yesterday morning, 11 hours on a plane wears you out.  So I'm a married women now, woo hoo.  We had so much fun. I got to see some old friends and hang out with the love of my life. It was awesome. We went snorkeling and parasailing and lots of shopping and drinking cocktails by the pool. Fan-fucking-tastic.

9:25AM

I'm getting married on Saturday. We leave on Thursday morning. I can't stop vomiting and crapping!!!!!!!! I am totally positive about marrying Sam so I don't know what this whole nervous thing is about. Well anyway, wish me luck and all that good shit. I will leave you with a pic of Sam and I at octoberust 's Halloween Party.

9:27AM - The dental industry is out to get you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I finally broke down and went to the dentist. That was 80.00 just to say uh you need to see a specialist who does root canals and you need to go today because this is an emergency. So I look in the phone book call my usual dentist. But he can't see me until nov. 9th. So I'm calling everywhere. I found a place inside the fucking mall. The mall, WTF? Anyway, it cost me 605.00 and I have to go back next week for a permanent filling then after I get back from my honeymoon I have to get a crown put on which is another 600.00 bucks!
I am amazed that I could not find a dentist willing to do some sort of financing. I would have sucked the doctors dick every day for a week rather than pay 1200.00 dollars. But I guess he thought I had a yuck mouth.
I am going to get dental insurance ASAP. Because I am approaching my thirties and I don't want to be toothless like my parents.
Well, I'm in pain now so I will stop.

10:00AM

STARBUCK AND TATUM

2:45AM

I have a really bad tooth ache and no dental insurance or money. Fuck this sucks so much. I don't even know what tooth it is. It seems like the whole left side hurts. I can't see any cavities so I really don't know which one it is. Fuck I hate this!!!!!!!

11:04AM - general update

I am getting so fucking nervous about my wedding. EEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!. Four weeks away, holy shit. I need some xanax hey sophiasophia  hook me up! Anyway, I have lost 15lbs so far I'm happy about that. However I went from a 34 DD to a 32C. So, now I have to go to Victoria's Secrete and buy some tits. My cousin is throwing me a bridal shower. I'm nervous about it because I don't like to be the center of attention. Contrary to what some people believe.

I have a job prospect, A lady who comes in to my work to tan is a paralegal. She told me that her company is getting a new Lawyer and he will be looking for an assistant. She told me to send my resume in and to mention her name in the cover letter. I don't think I can write a decent cover letter. Does anyone have any suggestions?

                                                                  Have a nice day everyone!!!!!!!!

12:46PM - Bum Fight

I got into an argument with a bum. Now this is no ordinary bum, mind you. He is notorious in the neighborhood where I work. I had heard about him being an asshole if you don't give him money or if you give him just a little bit. So I finally encounterd this bastard. I was at work and I saw him bothering a customer of mind. So I step out the door and say " you need to leave because you are bothering my customers." He says "fuck you. You fucking bitch." I say, "keep walking sir." He leaves yelling vulgarities and whatever. About 10 minutes later I'm outside on break and I see him across the street walking and eating something. He looks over at me and yells "quit looking at my ass" I laughed because I found that to be pretty funny. He crosses the street and walks a little toward me and again says "quit looking at my ass" so I said "is that what you call your face?" He sort of laughs and calls me a fucking bitch. Again I laugh. He starts to walk a little closer to me and I say to him "Look here son, If I see you harassing my customers again I'm going to call the police." He says "okay, I'm sorry..........You Fucking Bitch!" I started to laugh hysterically I don't know why but I really found that to be funny. That's the second fight that I have had with a bum.

9:02AM - Well you know

I just got back from a walk/run with Tatum. Damn that dog has energy! I thought I would walk the shit out of her because she is still a pup. but those two miles made her more energetic. She is currently tormenting my cats. Poor kitties. Anyway, I have lost ten pounds already and that makes me happy. I need to lose at least ten more before November.

12:11PM

looking at this face just brightens my day. I hope seeing her picture will make you smile the way it makes me smile

9:52AM - I'm fucked

I think I'm totally fucked in the head. Really, I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but I totally blew off class yesterday and today. No reason to not go, I just did not want to. Fuck, I'm stupid. I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I wanted to go back to school get my degree and become a legal assistant. But now I just don't know what I want. I feel like such a loser and I hate feeling this way. I don't want to even leave the house. I'm going crazy and I'm sick of myself being such a whiny fucker who lays around and says poor me but doesn't get off her ass and do anything about it. There isn't enough antidepressants in the world to help me. Last semester I blamed my poor school attendance on drinking well now I haven't drank in a long time and I'm still a fuck up. So now what's my excuse? Uh.......you are an idiot, that's it. Damn, I should have known that. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!!!!

12:29PM

Nobody cares!

12:47PM

TABLE cellPadding=20 align=center>
<tbody>
<tr>
<td align="middle">The Seeker
You scored 64%! </td></tr>
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<td>I don't know if you've been searching low and high, but you do know your bare-bones classic rock basics. With this kind of score, you probably nailed the signature song questions and most of the albums. You probably don't have much of a classic rock collection yourself, but when your friends play theirs, you recognize the songs. This is a respectable score: you're neither know-nothing nor nerd. </td></tr>
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<td align="middle"> </td></tr></tbody></table>

8:06AM - would you like some cheese with that WHINE, BITCH?

I know I am a whiny bitch. There's no need to tell me that. I have to issues that continue to eat at my brain. My wedding and school. I'll start with the wedding. We still owe a good bit of money on it. Actually the only thing we have planned is the hotel and airfare. The actual ceremony is still up in the air. I didn't want to plan this thing anyway. I wish it were just Sam and I. I don't want anyone there scrutinizing, me or my wedding. It is not suppose to be that way, and I feel like it is going to be that way.

        I HATE YOU FUCKING

                ASSHOLES!!

School: I just don't have the motivation I used to. I feel like I just want to stop going and find a job some place. I look at the job ads and every place wants a degree and experience, What the fuck? I know a couple of legal assistants from work and they never even went to college or have taken any law classes. So why am I wasting my time and money on a piece of paper that says "uh yeah, she completed the required courses. However she is still a dumb ass!!" I don't know what to do. I am so overwhelmed, that I am that I am about to check myself in to a mental hospital and say " I am fucked in the head, is there a bed open?"

HAVE A NICE WEEKEND

                       AND

 LABOR DAY FUCKERS!!

7:22AM

I feel so overwhelmed. I sit in class and think: "what the hell am I doing here?" "Who am I kidding?" I look around me and everyone else seems to know what they are doing and I feel so inadequate. I don't have any motivation or energy to do anything. I know that I can't make a living doing what I am doing but am I able to finish school and get a job? I don't know. I'm really scared. I wish I could find the strength to do what I feel I need to do. I'm tired all the time, all I want to do is sleep. I still have to finish planning my wedding that is two months away, I haven't even sent out invitations. I feel like such a whiny pathetic bitch.

7:28AM

You scored as Suicide. Your death will be suicide. What more can I say? Fact: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you want to know hwo you will commit suicide, take a look at your second highest percentage on the bar graphs. </td> Suicide 73% Posion 60% Bomb 53% Natural Causes 47% Eaten 47% Disappear 47% Suffocated 40% Accident 27% Stabbed 27% Gunshot 20% Drowning 20% Disease 0% Cut Throat 0% How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com Well, I'll be damned! >